Post by anthony on Jan 20, 2021 2:56:21 GMT -5
I just found a hilarious short story (pictures included!) that I wrote in 2009: Potato vs. Bacon, featuring a world where sentient potatoes conflict with sentient bacon strips.
The socio(economic/political) issues include income inequality with respect to social class, enforced child labor, long work hours, domestic violence, divorce, racism(speciesism), corporate power, and tyrannical government structures.
imgur.com/a/DJUmvmB
The best part is, it mirrors the short story I wrote 8 years later in high school English class, where I was supposed to write a horror story, but it was too late to complete the assignment, so in about 30 minutes I instead satirized the horror of having no ketchup at fast-food restaurants and received a failing grade.
"No Ketchup":
Once upon a time, I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Upon entering the small facility on the end of the stripmall, I was hit with a mouth watering whiff of peanut oil and fresh grilled burgers. I walked up to the counter, already knowing exactly what I desired to order. When I got to the counter, the young lady behind the desk asked me, “What can I get for you today?” This question really struck me with a wave of confusion. I thought I had known what I desired to order, but now, I was having second thoughts. Usually when I ordered from Five Guys Burgers and Fries, I would order a double cheeseburger meal. This time around, I was thinking of spicing things up a bit due to my unhappiness in how my life was currently going. After pondering the decision for nearly three and a half seconds, I finally decided to order a double bacon cheeseburger meal. “I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger meal,” I said to the lady behind the counter. I opted for the bacon because I wanted there to be some crunchiness in the burger to balance out the juicy and tender beef patty housed between the soft and lightly toasted buns. The lady responded to me with, “Your total comes to $17.67.” After hearing those words, I pondered the best way to pay for my overpriced bacon cheeseburger meal. Then it hit me, the $20 bill in my pocket would pay for this perfectly. Handing the $20 over to the cashier, I said, “I’ll be using a Jackson for this transaction.” The lady looked up at me with an expression of disapproval. As she was grabbing my change, I heard her mutter something along the lines of, “I don’t get paid enough to deal with people like this.” She promptly handed me my change and walked away, probably to quit her job.
After waiting a grueling 10 minutes for my meal, I heard over the order intercom, “Order for Ant.” I walked over to the pick up counter and grabbed my meal. It was housed inside of a brown paper bag stained with fresh grease spots from the burger and fries. The bag smelled wonderful, a mix of peanut oil, fresh beef, bacon, it all blended together to make a smell undeserving of being smelled by man. I sat down with my meal and opened up the foil that the burger was wrapped in. After gently taking the warm, toasted bun off of the top of the burger, I walked over to the condiments to put some ketchup on it. Putting the burger under the ketchup dispenser, I slowly pressed down on the pump…only for no ketchup to come out of it. I tried and tried, but it was all for naught. There was no ketchup left. I walked over to the counter, shaking in fear of what the answer to the question I was about to ask them might be. I grabbed the attention of a man working behind the counter and asked, “Do you guys have any ketchup left?” The man looked me straight in the eyes, as if staring into my soul. His look said a thousand words, one of which was, “no.” I dropped to my knees, unable to contain my pain and suffering, I gave every living thing in that facility my candid opinion about the lack of ketchup. I simply could not fathom how a burger establishment such as Five Guys Burgers and Fries could have the audacity to have no ketchup in stock. I walked out, horrified by my experience.
The socio(economic/political) issues include income inequality with respect to social class, enforced child labor, long work hours, domestic violence, divorce, racism(speciesism), corporate power, and tyrannical government structures.
imgur.com/a/DJUmvmB
The best part is, it mirrors the short story I wrote 8 years later in high school English class, where I was supposed to write a horror story, but it was too late to complete the assignment, so in about 30 minutes I instead satirized the horror of having no ketchup at fast-food restaurants and received a failing grade.
"No Ketchup":
Once upon a time, I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Upon entering the small facility on the end of the stripmall, I was hit with a mouth watering whiff of peanut oil and fresh grilled burgers. I walked up to the counter, already knowing exactly what I desired to order. When I got to the counter, the young lady behind the desk asked me, “What can I get for you today?” This question really struck me with a wave of confusion. I thought I had known what I desired to order, but now, I was having second thoughts. Usually when I ordered from Five Guys Burgers and Fries, I would order a double cheeseburger meal. This time around, I was thinking of spicing things up a bit due to my unhappiness in how my life was currently going. After pondering the decision for nearly three and a half seconds, I finally decided to order a double bacon cheeseburger meal. “I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger meal,” I said to the lady behind the counter. I opted for the bacon because I wanted there to be some crunchiness in the burger to balance out the juicy and tender beef patty housed between the soft and lightly toasted buns. The lady responded to me with, “Your total comes to $17.67.” After hearing those words, I pondered the best way to pay for my overpriced bacon cheeseburger meal. Then it hit me, the $20 bill in my pocket would pay for this perfectly. Handing the $20 over to the cashier, I said, “I’ll be using a Jackson for this transaction.” The lady looked up at me with an expression of disapproval. As she was grabbing my change, I heard her mutter something along the lines of, “I don’t get paid enough to deal with people like this.” She promptly handed me my change and walked away, probably to quit her job.
After waiting a grueling 10 minutes for my meal, I heard over the order intercom, “Order for Ant.” I walked over to the pick up counter and grabbed my meal. It was housed inside of a brown paper bag stained with fresh grease spots from the burger and fries. The bag smelled wonderful, a mix of peanut oil, fresh beef, bacon, it all blended together to make a smell undeserving of being smelled by man. I sat down with my meal and opened up the foil that the burger was wrapped in. After gently taking the warm, toasted bun off of the top of the burger, I walked over to the condiments to put some ketchup on it. Putting the burger under the ketchup dispenser, I slowly pressed down on the pump…only for no ketchup to come out of it. I tried and tried, but it was all for naught. There was no ketchup left. I walked over to the counter, shaking in fear of what the answer to the question I was about to ask them might be. I grabbed the attention of a man working behind the counter and asked, “Do you guys have any ketchup left?” The man looked me straight in the eyes, as if staring into my soul. His look said a thousand words, one of which was, “no.” I dropped to my knees, unable to contain my pain and suffering, I gave every living thing in that facility my candid opinion about the lack of ketchup. I simply could not fathom how a burger establishment such as Five Guys Burgers and Fries could have the audacity to have no ketchup in stock. I walked out, horrified by my experience.
